Dear Diary, My first day as an intern in a computer workshop was really exciting. I have really nice colleagues and they take great care of me. Today, for example, I was just screwing on a computer when a colleague came and taught me more stuff. He showed me that you can not get pregnant if he puts his penis in my bum. I also learned that it only tweaks briefly when he puts it in the back and I now know how my taste buds.